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Pub date: 2/15/22

Touched a nerve Mr. Bola, and this teacher’s heart…

⏰ 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫: Michael (Brit of Congolese descent) is a beloved teacher who seemingly has a great life in London, but behind it all, he harbors a deep, dark relentless depression. He decides to end his life when his savings ends – in America. He embarks on a journey across the country that’s an end, not a beginning, yet still manages to find moments of peace and light in the dark, dimming, dwindling days.

💡𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬: From the first page, author J.J. Bola wants the reader to see Michael separate, all the way to the telling of the story – dual viewpoints: first person from Michael in London versus third person Michael in America, almost as if the moment he arrives in the U.S., a disconnect is established and someone else has to tell his painful story. It IS painful. And raw. And REAL.

I’m a teacher and I suffer from depression and man…. Bola brings alllllll those feels to the surface. Every. Moment.

While others will say this novel is “depressing”, I counter that THIS. IS. REAL. Maybe people NEED to be made uncomfortable. Maybe y’all NEED to know what this looks and feels like because I’ll tell you this – I am the Robin Williams of teaching, happy every day cracking jokes like endless eggs, NEVER down and yup, behind my eyes swims depression – a voice that tells me I’m a horrible teacher, an even more unlovable human being, and undeserving of anything positive. How’s that for REAL?

And on that note – the Holocaust is depressing too, but it’s worth the uncomfortable book ride. TAKE this ride. BE uncomfortable and have uncomfortable conversations. Because that’s what saved me.

My depression is managed and thanks to a brilliant therapist and a fabulous support system – I have the coping skills to function through these feelings. It never stops the feelings – those are always there, and I live WITH them. They are my constant companions, unwelcome and intrusive and part of who I am, a person I now love more than hate, whom I see value in more than worthlessness, and who I grow to love more rather than less. If you are reading this and need help PLEASE call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆𝗠𝗮𝗴𝘀.𝗰𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

📚𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Contemporary Fiction, topic of interest mental health.

😍𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨: Everyone who has suffered from mental illness, has a loved one with mental illnesses, or simply wants to walk the proverbial mile of a man who does.

🙅‍♀️ 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨: If you’re triggered or in too dark of a place, this could be too much.

Thank you to the author, NetGalley and Atria Books for my advanced copy in exchange for my always-honest review and for the beauty that is this book.